Free

01. 2020

02. Not Again
03. Anymore
04. The Ballad Of Lonesome Cowboy Bill
05. Blessed
06. Going Down
07. You Could Be
08. Bullet
09. Here We Are
10. Don't Mean A Thing
11. The Bored And Lonely
12. Free

01. 2020

It’s not the life you wanted
It’s not the life you see
It’s not the life you wanted
But it sure looks good to me
It sure looks good to me
Ain’t no goin back now
That’s the real tragedy

You’re knocking down institutions
You’re pouring gasoline
Remake it in your image
Let it feed your “me” machine
You take it all til there’s nothing left for me
We’re right back where we started
Ain’t that right where you wanted to be

You’re not the one we wanted
You’re not the one we need
You’re not the one we wanted
But you’re sure something to see
Yeah you’re sure something to see
Be careful what you wish for
Cuz ain’t nothing in this world for free

Be careful what you wish for
Cuz ain’t nothing in this world for free

Be careful what you wish for
Cuz ain’t nothing in this world for free
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02. Not Again

The sun’s sitting high in the sky
And the road stretches on beyond my eyes
The thoughts and wine are flowing like the ink onto the pages
The mountains have been talking and they want to see some changes
Gotta go
I gotta go

I’m not that same doormat you used to step on back then
Don’t go looking for her now, she won’t be back here
Again

The moon bathes the hills in her light
The horizon disappears into the night
My reflection in the glass asks me who I want to be
Forced introspection working fast, changing my mentality
Now I know
Now I know

I’m not that same doormat you used to step on back then
Don’t go looking for her now, she won’t be back here
Again

No morals, Love quarrels, Others came and went
Split faction, Chain reaction, Twisting what was meant
Heart bleeder, Mind reader, Blind leading the cold
Mind lifted, Self-inflicted, Taking back control

I’m not that same doormat you used to step on back then
Don’t go looking for her now, she won’t be back here
Again
Not again
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03. Anymore

 

I won’t go
Down that road
Anymore

Anymore
I won’t go
Down that road
Anymore
Anymore

You won’t see me baby
Round that way
Anymore

I won’t go
To your house
Anymore
Anymore
I won’t go
To your house
Anymore
Anymore

You won’t see me baby
In your yard
You won’t see me baby
I’ve come too far
You won’t hear me call you
“Baby” again
You won’t hear me call you
My best friend
Anymore

I won’t call you
On the phone
Anymore
Anymore
I won’t make
My time your own
Anymore
Anymore
Anymore
Anymore...

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04. The Ballad Of Lonesome Cowboy Bill

 

I was workin’ on my knees
Dirty jobs and dirty deeds
Lookin’ for somethin’ I don’t know
Mediocrity all around
On the screen and in the sound
That’s when I heard that lonesome voice on my radio
He played Waits and he played Cave
He would rant and he would rave

He pushed the limits on that big bad FCC
Never knew what I would find
Close my eyes, open my mind

Show me just how lovely madness can be

Now when you’re riding with the Devil
Don’t let him take your keys
He’s been known to make your life a living Hell
If it goes bumping in the night
Don’t you worry, don’t you fight
Once you get past the teeth, that demon sure is swell
Out in the world there ain’t no danger

Accepting kindness from a stranger

If you’re in Toad Suck, you’d better shoot to kill
And your story will be shared

By voices floating in the air

Keep your dial there on Lonesome Cowboy Bill

There was a time in our story

In the height of its glory

A carnival blew in on an eastern wind

It brought a sinister kind of lore

Lots of gratuitous blood and gore

Better keep your wits about ya if ya wanna save your skin

Then there were two nights of the week

When these great orators got to speak

I could escape into the yarns that they had spun

But then just as I had feared
The carnival, it disappeared

Then the last great hope for radio was down to one

 

Chorus

Well if Bun Bun’s pushing daisies

And Baxter’s getting lazy
And Private 3rd Eye, he done left town

Cthulhu Mae is MIA
And Barry Lee went his own way

Where will you go when Moby’s Trip comes down?

Chorus

Where will you go
Where will you go
Where will you go when Moby’s Trip comes down
Where will you go
Where will, Where will you go
Where will you go when Moby’s Trip comes down


Where will you go
Where will you go
Where will you go when Moby’s Trip comes down

Where will you go
No solace left on my radio
Where will you go when Moby’s Trip comes down


(Lonesome Cowboy Bill was the character of radio dj, Bill Hillburn, whose program, “Moby’s Trip”, aired weekly on Kansas City community radio during my formative years. His show inspired a spinoff radio series called “The Backroads Carnival” hosted by Private 3rd Eye (Matt Spencer), which aired on community radio in Brattleboro, VT.)
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05. Blessed

I see my footprints in the sand
Remind me where I’ve been
Times were hard, I could not stand
I don’t know how I’m gonna win
I had my troubles, My bad habits
I got in my own way
I lived through sorrow, I lived through madness
Now I can say

I’m so blessed
Blessed, Blessed, Blessed
Blessed, Blessed, Blessed

Took many trials to find my way
Without them I wouldn’t know
Life’s a blessing, Every day
I had to hold on to hope
From my first breath to my last
I’m grateful for this gift
Bless my future, Forgive my past
Let our voices lift

And be blessed
Blessed, Blessed, Blessed
Blessed, Blessed, Blessed

It’s hard to be grateful when you’re just trying to get through the day
The world can be hateful, It makes you want to run away
Life is a choice between Love and Fear
Let’s love our neighbors while they’re still here

And be blessed
Blessed, Blessed, Blessed
Blessed, Blessed, Blessed
Blessed, Blessed, Blessed
Blessed, Blessed, Blessed
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06. Going Down

 

Oh Lord give me something, give me some kind of relief
I wandered the desert, lost my faith in disbelief

Hold me in your arms now baby, let me lay here for a while
I'll take you in, drink the poison, then we'll set this world on fire

Suffered through a droughted bad condition
Wanna make your bed my new religion

Gotta give her credit, she can turn heads from miles away
She's shaking her ass and it's breaking my heart, gotta go babe but I want to stay

She can save me from my sins
But that righteous path might do me in

Going all the way just to lose it all
The way you played me should be criminal
I must have lost my mind
Pulled me from the ledge, the point of no return
After you let me crash and burn
I'm going down one more time

Intoxicated by her eyes
A force of nature, a wicked mind
You did all the damage you could do
But baby I never think of you

Going all the way just to lose it all
The way you played me should be criminal
I must have lost my mind
Pulled me from the ledge, the point of no return
After you let me crash and burn
I'm going down one more time

Going all the way just to lose it all
The way you played me should be criminal
I must have lost my mind
Pulled me from the ledge, the point of no return
After you let me crash and burn
I'm going down one more time

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07. You Could Be

 

Baby my mind has been aching now for so long
I've been living life on the edge of right and wrong
Something's been pulling me further on down that road
I'm weary now and falling down, forgotten how not to be alone

Please don't mind my lack of patience

I still think there's a way we can win this

You could be my, you could be my eye of the storm
You could be my, you could be my light in the dark
                         
Come closer baby, I could use a little less breathing room
I don't know why you would decide to give this love a chance to bloom

In this fight between myself and I, you choose to stand right in the middle
Don't explain, I think you love the pain of a losing battle

You could be my, you could be my eye of the storm
You could be my, you could be my light in the dark

I don't want to be the kind of angry heart that beats to scar every person that I need
I just want to live content with what was given to me freely

You could be my, you could be my eye of the storm
You could be my, you could be my light in the dark
You could be my, you could be my eye of the storm
You could be my, you could be my light in the dark

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08. Bullet

 

Wandering eye
Don’t make you strange
Tight chest, swallow that fear of change
Logic fails ya
Hold to it still
Won’t be no winner if you test my will
She’s a keeper
Crazy eyes
She’ll make you lukewarm for the rest of your life
You feel safe now
Half of a whole
You don’t know the difference between love and control

I want a good life
But you’re full of it
I can’t cry
Because I know, I know, Baby
I dodged a bullet

Tomb in a graveyard
What does it say?

They told him how to hide and so he lived life that way
Slithering backwards
Back on that fence
You got your education but you ain’t got no sense
Through swollen ego
You just can’t see
Long as you ignore your purpose you won’t be free
Put on a good show
Project your wealth
Lies are all you got, have some respect for yourself

I want a good life
But you’re full of it
I can’t cry
Because I know, I know, Baby
I dodged a bullet

I found an angel
To lift me up off the ground
He’ll be my savior
But first he’s gotta cut me down

I want a good life
But you’re full of it
I can’t cry
Because I know, I know, Baby
I dodged a bullet

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09. Here We Are

I don't believe I gotta
Clean your mess again
I don't believe I gotta
Smile and pretend
You play your game and then you
Feignin' ignorance
You show your ass and then you
Claiming violence

When you're a victim baby
You can't ascend
You gotta circle round
The drain until the end
Ain't nothing matters to you
Til it becomes too late
That's what happens when you
Give yourself to hate
Oh when you give yourself to hate
Oh well, here we are
It’s gone that far

You try to push the numbers
You wanna play a name
You hold or control me babe
You know it ain't the same
Can't get no peace of mind now
I want a piece of you
Won't be no one left standing babe
When this night is through

When you're a victim baby
You can't ascend
You gotta circle round
The drain until the end
Ain't nothing mattered to you
Til it came too late
That's what happens when you
Give yourself to hate
Oh when you give yourself to hate
Oh well, here we are
It’s gone that far
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10. Don't Mean A Thing

Staring at a photo
Remembering a happy time
Staring at our photos
Remembering our happy times
My tears pour like the rain now
You won’t let me get you off my mind

We had it all babe
We had the world on a string
We had it all babe
We had the whole world on a string
Don’t you try to say you love me
Now I know that don’t mean a thing

Don’t you come around here
Don’t you try to make me change my mind
Don’t you come around here
Don’t you try to make me change my mind
Whatcha did is whatcha did, what’s done is done
I gotta leave ya behind

We had it all babe
We had the world on a string
We had it all babe
We had the whole world on a string
Don’t you try to say you love me
Now I know that don’t mean goddamn a thing
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11. The Bored And Lonely

She sins with her eyes wide open
She thinks she sees the light
She don’t get bogged down with moral questions
She don’t need wrong or right

He’s got a penchant for short attention
Always keeping the peace
Nowhere to go for all that tension
He just needs her release

She wants to live her life on MTV
He’s got a wife and a bed that’s empty
Never question the mindless cruelty
Of the bored and the lonely

He’s laying in bed now
She’s banging her head against the wall
This shouldn’t be some kind of normal
This shouldn’t ever happen at all

How can a person get so broken
To be so wicked and yet feel nothing
Between them both, there’s not enough shame
For one normal decent human being

She wants to live her life on MTV
He’s got a wife and a bed that’s empty
Never question the mindless cruelty
Of the bored and the lonely

He wants to take over
Like some kind of savior
It’s alright, I don’t need ya
I got no guilt for my misbehavior

All that hate in your heart
Put a hole in your soul
All that hate in your heart
Put a hole in your soul
All that hate in your heart
Put a hole in your soul
All that hate in your heart
Put a hole in your soul
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12. Free

You broke my heart, you hurt my soul
I am weary, I am low
After all that you’ve done to me
Oh I just can’t wait to be free

Free from sorrow, free from pain
Free from ever loving you again
Free from crying and your third degree
Oh I just can’t wait to be free
Oh I just can’t wait to be free

I can’t wait (I can’t wait)
To be free (I can’t wait)
I can’t wait to finally take good care of me (I can’t wait)
I want to thank you (I can’t wait)
For letting me see (I can’t wait)
That I just can’t wait to be free

Feels so good (Feels so good)
To be free (Feels so good)
Feels so good to finally do what’s right for me (Feels so good)
I’m in control of (Feels so good)
My destiny (Feels so good)
It feels so good to be free
It feels so good to be free
It feels so good
To be free
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